It can be a big challenge to find honesty due to our conditioning, the mind will create diversions (because it thinks it is protecting us) and our true nature may be buried deep within but do not be afraid to search for it. Knowing that you are honest with yourself is the key to greater awareness and enlightenment, so focus on your truth. Honesty is the path to finding your true nature, which ultimately leads us all home.
Being honest, simply means that you do not need to hide your truth from anyone, least of all yourself. Easier said than done! But if you pay enough attention to what is going on and are willing and open to the possibilities then you will find that there is no need to hide. Honesty is freedom, no more pretending or having to justify yourself.
Toxic relationships can make things difficult and this is where honesty is really important because if you are honest with yourself, you will find that deep down you know what is required. That if a particular friendship/relationship is damaging your emotional wellbeing and action is required then only honesty can see reality and face it head on. It can be difficult and sometimes one needs to take a leap of faith. The more you look for honesty within the easier it will be to find.
When I first realised this about my marriage it took me another two years before I did anything about it, that is how deeply entrenched I was in my suffering and the belief that everything was going to be ok, when deep down I knew the only way my life was going to improve was if drastic changes were made. It takes inner strength and will to make positive changes, it seldom happens overnight but what is important is that there is a willingness to do something and with honesty there is space to give attention to whatever needs to be seen and heard.
Having an expectation (or belief) that others ‘should’ be honest is delusional. It is not healthy to demand or expect honesty from others. Do not concern yourself with what others do, say or think as this preoccupation is futile and it detracts you from your true nature and purpose. If others are not being honest, remember it is their failing, not yours. Your choice is simple, do you wish to accept this person for who they are, or do you wish to distance yourself from them? Either way, judgement has no place here as there is no need to judge or upset yourself, all you need to do is be honest with yourself and make the right choices. Suffering comes when we focus too much attention on our thoughts, beliefs, assumptions and judgements. Imagine if you could spend a whole day without paying attention to any negative thoughts…who would you be without suffering?
So, the best place to start is by looking at what Honesty really means. Can you be totally honest with yourself and others? To begin with focus on one thing that you are not happy about and see if you can look through (at) the situation from a different perspective?
An example might be that you find it difficult to say ‘no’ to people (family members, work colleagues etc.) and you don’t want to let anyone down but actually it’s to your own detriment that you do not put yourself first and prioritise what’s of value.
The irony is people respect you more when you speak ‘your truth’.
Openness
By being OPEN to new possibilities and a different way of looking at life so it can be more fully embraced. Find Out More
Willingness
Being WILLING to engage and participate in all that is arising in the moment, you can observe and experience an alternative perspective to the meaning of life. Find Out More